I am now at www.ofrenda.org/theta.

yup, i jumped on the bandwagon and made the switch to the much-vaunted MT.

but only cause she said so.

Go stand up an egg.

jason and i went to lunch with nate and ken-ichi. nate described the Stumpy cat that woke him up and went down to sleep on his housemate's bed, and confirmed her identity with my color photographs.

what i want to know is, 1. did she just get lost, or purposely run away, and 2. how did she end up in my friend's house, of all places? maybe she remembered him from his visits to our house.

now i have to make some chocolate chip cookies for nate.

in non-pet-parenting news, i went out dancing and drinking till 5 am with my coworker and her friend, stayed up till 4 performing and drinking at an illegal after-hours club, hula hooped a whole bunch and saw the Ronald K. Brown troupe's "Evidence," which was utterly breathtaking African/modern dance performance. i especially enchanted by the female lead dancer, camille somebody or other, who was like a hurricane trapped inside glass.

maybe elliott is like her momma and took off on a bike ride.

i spent yesterday despondently skating around my hood putting up signs on utility poles. one guy driving by stopped and asked about her and i described her as "fat, orangey/brown striped, no tail." he said he had thought he saw her in his yard on saturday, down by the park on 27th & clinton (about 12 blocks away). i excitedly gave him a sign and went down there to twice to call her name.

unfortunately as i wandered around near his house in the dark last night, i heard a meow from under some bushes and a fat, orangey/brown striped tortoiseshell manx with a low-hanging belly appeared who was definitely not my cat. i went home and laid in bed and felt sorry for myself.

update: nate lives at 28th and clinton. i was going to call him last night to ask to keep an eye out for her. he just IM'ed me and described elliott . . . fingers crossed. also, when/if she comes, i'm gonna whip that little bitch within an inch of her life.

my kitty is missing.

i think i'm looking for all kinds of answers. i get brief flashes of finding them. they come all disjointed.

1. watching "waking life." "Kierkegaard's last words were, 'Sweep me up!'"

2. dancing last night, under red lights and shimmering my body against drums and voices inside a speaker. justin paused in his floor-hogging wild breakin-it-down dance moves and grooved up next to me against the sounds. i whisper-shouted into his ear, "if you were the sound of an instrument, which would you want to be?" as our hips and feet and hands throbbed and threw and thrashed. "Tuba!" he shouted, opening his arms wide and sinking low into his ankles, emoting from the depths of his lungs "MMMMMMBBBPHHHHHHHH!" "for me. . .bass clarinet!" i told him, swivelling and shimmying my shoulders like that rich dark chocolate sound, "eric dolphy's 'god bless the child'!" i imagined my body all insidious cubist refractions, clustering around hands on drums and reverberating bass.

3. a face keeps appearing in my dreams, 5 nights in a row now and i can never quite remember what it was or why.

yes. it is still by my house. i have no idea the hell why.

addendum: or, it was until like two days ago! i realized they're gone now. how sad.

Itches that itch like no other itch:

• the unexplainable boob itch
• yeast infection itch
• when you scratch that one little spot on your lower thigh and everytime you scrape your finger nails across it, you feel it somewhere up in your opposite arm. what IS that?!
• mosquito bite on your foot arch itch
• flea on the unreachable part of your back itch
• dandruff itch
• the way deep inside of your ear spot your finger and q-tips can't reach itch
• wake up in the middle of the night and keep scratching in half-asleep frenzy and it doesn't subside for a seeming eternity itch

Everyone is sick . . . including me

yesterday my coworker wheeled out of the office with the ominous comment that she was going to pick up some TheraFlu. i woke up achey and fuzzy headed and after being showered and dressed, looked down at jason lying in bed and thought, damn, i never shoulda got up and shoulda called in sick. but instead i took the bus and now i feel like carp and my co-secretary is out sick, so it's probably better i'm here.

maybe i'll do a shitload of work in the next hour and a half and then go home after lunch. and/or maybe tomorrow i will sleep in, sit at the window in stumptown and look at the rain and take a long time to drink my coffee while i do the crossword.

i am also laboring under the delusion that either 1. everybody dislikes me or 2. i'm at the very bottom of everyone's liked-people list, and i am feeling very sad, lonely and depressed and like not talking to anybody ever again. this is also the most boring blog ever in excistence. good bye now.

go read the legendary Simon's-of-Eugene and my discussion of milkshakes, wherein i describe the perfect milkshake i had this weekend and simon bemoans eugene's lack of milkshake-lovin' ladies.

nim's website is perpetually under very pretty reconstruction. i am slated to chop off his yuppie-john-tesh-listening-esque ponytail tomorrow, in exchange for beer. this is the month of hair cutting.

three nights of many many dreams. recurring themes, images, people. two nights ago i had an astral dream visit with Ben, who passed away last winter. a van pulled up next to me on the street. ben jumped out, smoking pot out of a hammer he made into a pipe. (those boys were always making odd things into smoking implements.) i was so very absolutely sure that peter was the one who was dead, not ben, and i asked ben if he was doing OK. he said yeah!! of course! and his embrace felt exactly like a ben hug. it was absolutely real and warm all through. then he said, i gotta go, and rushed off like the last time i saw him. when i woke up i was so confused because then i remembered ben is dead.

i went to the basement last night and i haven't been there in the better part of a year (better meaning simple majority). J was working and he asked me how i was. last time i saw him there i was not doing so well and he picked me up and dusted me off. last night he clasped my hands warmly and said 'don't let it be six months till i see you again!' when i left. now i listen to the stone roses over and over again.

i don't need to sell my soul
he's already in me

i wanna be adored
i wanna be adored